It is graduation season right now and naturally it reminds me of my own high school (and college come to think of it) graduation. I even listened to my graduation song while helping a family friend put together a photo slide show for her son (who I used to babysit so that made me feel especially old and aware of how much time has passed since I graduated). Dexter Freebish's 'Leaving Town.' If you haven't heard the song, I highly recommend it because I feel that the lyrics accurately describe how a lot of kids who graduate from high school feel at that point in their lives. In fact, one of the lyrics inspired the title of this blog.
It's funny to observe these young people who seem so stubborn and determined yet also incredibly unsure. And ones that have most of their lives ahead of them. Or maybe that's just me reflecting on how I was at that age. Back then I told myself (and anyone who would listen) that I was going to college out of state and that I would never move back to Arizona. That I never wanted to live there, and honestly that Colorado was not as far away as I would have liked. I wanted a change; I wanted something different. But also deep down I was a little scared of leaving and not feeling like I 'fit.'
It's one of those things that truly only comes with age and with time. You realize the things you so vehemently claimed you never wanted, are the things you might end up wanting in the end.
After a year living on the east coast, I have become increasingly aware of how much of a west coast kind of girl I really am. I am a truly laid-back person who, yes, is prone to the occasion rant or word-vomit session but who ultimately has a calm response to the daily or weekly troubles. I try to use logic as much as I can, or what little logic I possess. Haha.
I am also more of an outdoorsy kind of person than I had originally thought. I guess living in Colorado made me more aware of how girly I can be at times. I like to paint my nails different colors and curl my hair sometimes. I also like to wear cute dresses and accessorize. And I thought that this meant that I was too girly to do certain outdoor things.
But I think I must have absorbed the love of the outdoors by osmosis or something because I've realized that I really miss hiking, camping, cliff-diving and days at the lake. The mountains. Oh, how I miss the mountains. Turns out, I don't really like city life or people as much as I had originally thought. Now a part of me is convinced that I would be perfectly happy in a little cabin on the side/base of a mountain with a garden and a lake or river near by and a fully stocked library.
I had the pleasure of going on an all-day hike today to the bottom of a spring/creek with my sister and couple of her friends and her friend's friends and now as I'm about to go to bed I have a very familiar sense of calm that accompanies seeing what I can make my body do, even when my head is telling me it will never happen. I will never make it up this hill, I can't swim that far, I can't repel down that rock. Well, it turns out I can. Once again illustrating how you can talk yourself out of almost anything if you think about it for too long.
I like Boston. Please don't get me wrong, it's been an experience that's for sure. I've met some amazing people. People who I know will be in my life for a while. And I really am glad that I at least tried something different as opposed to just staying somewhere because I was comfortable. There are bookstores I have been to that can't be compared to anywhere else, cute coffee shops, history literally around every corner, and a town that can come together when faced with tragedy and crisis. I am proud to say that I will have lived in Boston while I was in graduate school.
But I'm not sure if it's somewhere I want to be permanently. I want to enjoy the time I have there and all the experiences, people and places I will surely have the pleasure of encountering in the next year and a half. However, it's very possible that the road I'm on will lead me back to the west coast very soon.
Now, go listen to that song (youtube it if you must) and reminiscence about your high school graduation. And if you haven't graduated yet and you are reading this...in time you will understand how sometimes when you think you are just so sure and that you will never change your mind, that often that turns out to not be the case and you have to eat a little slice of "I-was-wrong-pie." Don't worry, it doesn't taste quite so bad once you get past the first bite.
~~~
Monday, May 27, 2013
Saturday, May 25, 2013
So Apparently I Suck At Keeping Up With a Blog. My Apologies. I'll Try to Do Better.
Okay, so I'm really going to try to keep up with this whole 'blog-thing' this time.
You can thank my little sister who is studying abroad in Florence and my friend Sara who has been having crazy South American(right?) adventures this past year for inspiring me to re-start my blog.
I decided to start writing again because it's summer and I don't have classes or any other writing I have to get done by a particular due date.
And I think it's good to keep writing. One of the things I've struggled with in the past, is not writing when I don't have an assignment due for class. And since school doesn't last forever, unless you want to be completely buried in student-loans until you die (that's one of the only ways they will forgive your student-loans--if you die, I read that in the loan agreement), I have decided now is the perfect time to practice writing without assignments.
I guess first I'll recap the end of the semester and give an overview of my plans for the summer.
My second semester of grad school turned out to be way more fruitful or successful than the first. I met two amazing professors and I really saw an improvement in my writing. I had to write a letter to my workshop professor (workshop=writing class for those of you not familiar with writerly terms) and in that letter I had to talk about my progress throughout the semester. Then my professor wrote me back a letter and sent my portfolio along with comments to improve the drafts I sent him. What he wrote back to me was really encouraging. I like to think that I am a writer who is open to criticism and takes that criticism pretty well, but every now and again I think everyone needs a little self-esteem boost. I included twice the amount of required poems (12 instead of six) and my professor told me that I had been holding back and that some of the poems are "tough, funny, and confident." That I seemed to find a "spunky tone" towards the end of the semester and I shouldn't let that go. That was nice to hear after a semester of hard work.
In the beginning of the year I felt like I was playing catch-up compared to some of my classmates because I didn't feel as if I was as well-read as they were. But I think that means that maybe I needed an MFA program more than they did. I don't need someone to reiterate what I already know, I'm looking to learn and develop.
I got two A's for the semester and I think I may have found the two professors that I want to work with on my thesis. My professor for my lit class was as equally encouraging and critical as my workshop professor. In fact, he and I have already been corresponding this summer. He told us we could send him poems over the summer or next semester and I was surprised by how quickly he responded. Within two days he had read the two poems I sent him and had written lengthy comments/suggestions for improvement.
So overall my first year at grad school can be considered a win or a success. I'm excited for the next year to begin especially because I'll be moving in with my grad-school-bestie Eloisa and our new friend Abby who seems like a pretty cool person.
Which leads me to summer plans and plans for next year.
This summer turned out a little differently than I had originally planned. The original plan was to take a summer course, go to Spain for a few weeks for the family vacay and Colorado for the wedding that I am a bridesmaid in. But after talking with my mom I decided to come home to Arizona for the summer to work a little for my parents and to spend some time in the sunshine before I'm cut off from it again all winter (that is another blog all of its own). So, I'm currently sitting on the couch in sunny AZ while I write this blog, after sitting by the pool working on my much needed tan (thank you mom and Brie for telling me, repeatedly, how pale I was when I got back from Boston).
I'm still going to Spain with the family and to CO for the wedding, but now I also get to go to Indiana for my great-grandma's 90th birthday party and I get to spend a little more time with my family and friends on the west coast.
Then at the beginning of August I will be heading back to the east coast to move out of my current apartment and into my new apartment before school starts up again.
So, as I stated in the beginning of this post, I am going to try my hardest to write at least once a week for the rest of the summer. And if I'm really feeling motivated, hopefully I can keep up with that promise for the rest of the year.
And now I am going to try to get equally as tan as my little sister.
~~~
You can thank my little sister who is studying abroad in Florence and my friend Sara who has been having crazy South American(right?) adventures this past year for inspiring me to re-start my blog.
I decided to start writing again because it's summer and I don't have classes or any other writing I have to get done by a particular due date.
And I think it's good to keep writing. One of the things I've struggled with in the past, is not writing when I don't have an assignment due for class. And since school doesn't last forever, unless you want to be completely buried in student-loans until you die (that's one of the only ways they will forgive your student-loans--if you die, I read that in the loan agreement), I have decided now is the perfect time to practice writing without assignments.
I guess first I'll recap the end of the semester and give an overview of my plans for the summer.
My second semester of grad school turned out to be way more fruitful or successful than the first. I met two amazing professors and I really saw an improvement in my writing. I had to write a letter to my workshop professor (workshop=writing class for those of you not familiar with writerly terms) and in that letter I had to talk about my progress throughout the semester. Then my professor wrote me back a letter and sent my portfolio along with comments to improve the drafts I sent him. What he wrote back to me was really encouraging. I like to think that I am a writer who is open to criticism and takes that criticism pretty well, but every now and again I think everyone needs a little self-esteem boost. I included twice the amount of required poems (12 instead of six) and my professor told me that I had been holding back and that some of the poems are "tough, funny, and confident." That I seemed to find a "spunky tone" towards the end of the semester and I shouldn't let that go. That was nice to hear after a semester of hard work.
In the beginning of the year I felt like I was playing catch-up compared to some of my classmates because I didn't feel as if I was as well-read as they were. But I think that means that maybe I needed an MFA program more than they did. I don't need someone to reiterate what I already know, I'm looking to learn and develop.
I got two A's for the semester and I think I may have found the two professors that I want to work with on my thesis. My professor for my lit class was as equally encouraging and critical as my workshop professor. In fact, he and I have already been corresponding this summer. He told us we could send him poems over the summer or next semester and I was surprised by how quickly he responded. Within two days he had read the two poems I sent him and had written lengthy comments/suggestions for improvement.
So overall my first year at grad school can be considered a win or a success. I'm excited for the next year to begin especially because I'll be moving in with my grad-school-bestie Eloisa and our new friend Abby who seems like a pretty cool person.
Which leads me to summer plans and plans for next year.
This summer turned out a little differently than I had originally planned. The original plan was to take a summer course, go to Spain for a few weeks for the family vacay and Colorado for the wedding that I am a bridesmaid in. But after talking with my mom I decided to come home to Arizona for the summer to work a little for my parents and to spend some time in the sunshine before I'm cut off from it again all winter (that is another blog all of its own). So, I'm currently sitting on the couch in sunny AZ while I write this blog, after sitting by the pool working on my much needed tan (thank you mom and Brie for telling me, repeatedly, how pale I was when I got back from Boston).
I'm still going to Spain with the family and to CO for the wedding, but now I also get to go to Indiana for my great-grandma's 90th birthday party and I get to spend a little more time with my family and friends on the west coast.
Then at the beginning of August I will be heading back to the east coast to move out of my current apartment and into my new apartment before school starts up again.
So, as I stated in the beginning of this post, I am going to try my hardest to write at least once a week for the rest of the summer. And if I'm really feeling motivated, hopefully I can keep up with that promise for the rest of the year.
And now I am going to try to get equally as tan as my little sister.
~~~
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