How Does a 5'3 Girl Lug a 105 Lb Box Up Two Flights of Stairs?

She waits for her roommate of course.

Actually, she waits for her other roommate because the first one tried to help her and she couldn't even make it past the front door of the apartment building.

So, I waited for Lauren and at midnight after she got back from class we awkwardly, pushed and pulled this long, heavy box up the stairs...bitching about how it's only times like this we really wish we had boyfriends. It was my new dresser, that I will be assembling hopefully sometime this weekend, that I ordered online last week. I'm trying to finish decorating my room, since the bed-bug situation seems to be under control for the time being, and since I'm going to be here for at least the rest of the year. A part  of me thinks I delayed decorating because it didn't feel real to me that I actually moved across the country and started all over again in certain ways. So it's time to hang up some posters, put together my dresser and put my crap away. :)

I know I've been a bit of a slacker on the blog-writing thing. But I feel like I've had a pretty good reason, one that I'm going to try to condense and explain to you now.

I started working, and this week the days I haven't had class I've had work which means I have class three days a week and work four days a week. So, I'm trying to adjust to having less time to get all my school stuff done. This probably doesn't sound like that big of a deal but it can be considering the travel time it takes to get to work, and school and basically anywhere I want to go. Walking to CVS to grab a few odds and ends takes at least 20-30 minutes depending on how busy it is and if I know exactly what I need before hand. Getting to work can take 20-45 minutes depending on if the T is late and how full the T is. My being a fast walker only helps when I'm walking to the T or once I get off and have to walk from there. Although, I have realized I do walk pretty fast. When I go to class I try to give myself at least an hour to get there and sometimes I have to go to the library first to print things, so I'll give myself two hours. It also takes longer when the weather is bad and this week we had our first little snow storm, which delayed travel times a bit. I still haven't gone grocery shopping, even though I'd like to before work tonight, and ate my last two eggs this morning for breakfast. I will say one thing, I'm becoming much better at time management and I'm also getting really good at only buying groceries I know I will eat. So, I guess I can say thank you to my busy schedule for making me more efficient with my time and less wasteful.

School is good, but also very time-consuming. I'm taking a literature course and one writing course which means I'm constantly writing and reading. Luckily for me, I don't seem to have the same problem reading in the car that I do reading on the T, or at least not all the time. Plus, there is the time waiting for the T that I have to utilize as well. But something people don't seem to understand is that I could write for an entire week, every day and work on a poem or a paper and if it isn't just right, I have to start all over again and that week is gone. I'm not going to say it was wasted, but I'll never get it back and all I can do is move forward. Writing is sometimes a very un-rewarding vocation. But it's something that, at the end of the day, I love and that's why I'm here in the first place. It's just a little mentally trying at times. We are starting to try to assemble all of our final projects so I'll probably be even more busy in the up-coming weeks. I am so looking forward to Thanksgiving and by the time it gets here I think I will have earned it!

Lastly, being the new girl at work especially at a restaurant can have it's set-backs. For example, there is a girl who treats me like I'm an idiot, or a little girl even though from what I've heard she is only 6 months to a year older than me. She has, however worked at the restaurant for a while so she knows how things are supposed to run. We have clashed a little bit because I don't really like being spoken to in a condescending manner and my distaste is crystal clear on my face or in my tone of voice. I'm pretty good at hiding it from the guests at the restaurant but I can only keep a straight face for so long. My mom always told me that I could never hide my true feelings because my face always gave me away in the end. And honestly, it doesn't bother me like it used to. I can tell you that if she says one more thing to me this weekend, I will be giving her a little piece of my mind perhaps with some carefully chosen swear words mingled in. The reader's digest version of that little speech is "just because I'm new, that doesn't mean I'm an idiot." Or something like that.

Other than that, I'm great. I'm starting to feel like I'm making real friends and starting to get more comfortable within my little social bubble, which means hopefully in the near future I'll try to expand even further. And I feel like I'm starting to get some sort of semblance of rhythm in my life so that's nice too!

But I sure can't wait for the holidays!

                                                                      ~~~

The Two-Month Mark.

I have hit the two-month mark of being in a new place, and inevitably, that means I've just wrestled with my first case of homesickness.

The thrill of being in a new place hasn't faded yet, because I'm still really enjoying the area and exploring new places with new friends. But I've realized that I haven't really let myself truly relax for over two months now and it's starting to wear on me.

I'm still feeling people out and I haven't been able to be my complete, ridiculous self and it has been pretty exhausting. I feel like I've been constantly censoring myself and holding back because I'm not totally comfortable yet, and I don't want to make other people uncomfortable if they don't get my (sometimes dark/sarcastic) sense of humor. I do have my fellow 'Zonie Eloisa who is the only person at this point that I can totally be myself around, and that really has helped me feel more at ease, but she and I have had different schedules because I started working so we haven't seen each other as much as I would like.

Plus, I am the new girl at work again. I just started a new job at a restaurant where they threw me immediately into training for three solid days this past weekend. And I know that working at a restaurant is not the most difficult job in the world, although sometimes people don't realize how complex it can be at times trying to make sure everything runs smoothly, but it has been hard trying to settle in again. There are new names to learn, protocols to get down, menus to memorize (including 48 beers on tap), among other things. And that is just a lot for my poor little brain to take along with classes.

On top of that, I got the job and started right away, like the day after I went in and applied which was a little sooner than I had been expecting. I thought I'd at least have to drop off more than one resume/application before getting a job, and at least have more than one interview. It was kind of cool getting a job so fast though. I walked in and dropped off an application and walked out with a job. I sat down with the General Manager/one of the owners and he liked me so much he hired me on the spot. That being said, I was expecting him to at least give me a "we'll call you" not a "can you start tomorrow?" Not that I'm complaining! It's just one more thing that is going to take some adjusting to, that's all. I just need to fall into a rhythm with work and school. Hopefully I'll just be working weekends so I can focus on school during the week.  

I was Skyping with my parents the other day (which actually helped with the homesickness factor) and my mom said that she thinks I've been a little homesick because I've been tired, and she's probably right. Because let's face it my mom is almost always right...

I am really looking forward to going home for Thanksgiving though, and I'm glad that I get to be home for an entire week. It will be a nice little dose of home to tide me over until Christmas.

So for now, I'll keep pouring myself cups on liquid motivation and try to power-through until the holidays come around. And hopefully the uneasiness will fade with time.

                                                                         ~~~

Everyone I Know is Getting Married and I'm Just Getting Drunk.

Just kidding. I'm going to grad school, I'm not just getting drunk.

Although, sometimes I feel that alcohol does provide a particular sort of social lubrication that enhances the experiences I add to my writing material drawer at the end of every weekend. But seriously...

Back to the whole marriage thing though...I met up with one of my long-but-not-quite-lost friends from high school, who just so happens to live in Boston. We went and got brunch at a super hip place, ordering cappuccinos and fancy eggs benedict (I didn't think you could get any fancier than that).  It was so nice to see her again, and it felt like it was just the other day that I saw her so we had a really good time reconnecting.

And after we caught up on that status of each other's lives we soon we fell on the topic of who was getting married from high school, who was already married, and who was married with kids (eeek!). Me and Britt (my friend from high school) agreed that we are all for settling down and starting a family...eventually.

The key word in that sentence is "eventually." I'm 23-years-old and truly, just starting out my life. There are so many places, things, and people I want to meet or see before I permanently settle myself down somewhere or tie myself to another person forever. And I know that this is truly just a personality trait, some people are content with certain things, other people are not and strive for different things or experiences. But for me, the day I stop "wanting" is the day I know I'm in trouble. So I guess the point of this marriage convo or the question that I would like answered is--what's the rush?

Now, please don't misunderstand what I'm saying when I ask "what's the rush?" Because I get that some people are lucky enough to find "their lobster" at a younger age, and bless you for being so lucky. But the rest of us haven't been so lucky, or we haven't been lucky yet, and I'm just enough of a hopeless romantic and a realist to think that everything happens for a reason, or in its own time. Not everyone's timeline is identical. Our little life milestones don't happen in the same order, and please don't feel bad for me because of that.

I refer to my one roommate a lot, and that's probably because we really are so different when it comes down to personalities. And I really do love her for who she is, much like I would a sister or cousin who I sometimes clash with. However, she's constantly showing me things about myself that I had never really had to put into words for someone before.

Like the other day we were talking about marriage or getting married, for some reason that I can't seem to remember now, when she asked me "do you want to get married?" To which I answered, "well yes, but only to the right person." And she proceeded to ask me "well what if you don't meet him till you're like 30?" To which I repled, "then I won't get married until I'm 30..." This went on for a while with different variations of the same questions...until we came to the big question.

"Well, what if you don't meet him at all?"
"Well, then I guess I won't get married."
"So, you'd just be alone?"
"I guess so."
"Don't you find that kind of depressing?"

But here's the thing, I was blessed with an amazing family and amazing friends so I have never ever truly experienced what it feels like not to be "loved." Sure, I may have had my bouts with "under-appreciated," "misunderstood," and "overlooked," but never "not loved." So, I'm not going to go out there and settle down with someone who is not quite up to par just because I'd rather have a second choice than be alone. I would never want to be someone's second choice, or the person they settled for, so I could never do that to someone else.

Call it me being stubborn, or naive, or blame it all on my constant battle with my pride but there are some things that I believe in like "don't force it, especially if it isn't right" and I'm not going to change that because I don't want to. I believe the Supremes when they say "you can't hurry love, no you'll just have to wait."

And I know that the best things in life, are worth the wait. Or at least that's what I've come to believe so far.

Sorry about my little rant. I just don't want people to think that because I'm willing to wait for someone special, that I am closing myself off to the idea of marriage. It's just one area of my life where I'm going to stick to my guns, if you know what I means.

And that is how the cookie crumbles.

I'm going to test out sign offs from now on. Or steal other people's.

                                                                        ~~~

Rainy Days, Falling Leaves and Ear Aches.

I love Fall.

It's seriously my favorite season. Which is funny because I grew up mostly in a state where there aren't really distinct changes in seasons, let alone the gold, burgundy and wine colored foliage of autumn. Autumn, that's the fancy term for 'Fall.' I think I like the term 'Fall' better, it's more accurate in my opinion. Because it describes what the leaves do.

In the spirit of my favorite season, I baked enough pumpkin muffins/bread to feed the entire Von Trapp family, including their extended family last week. My classmates were pretty thrilled, I brought muffins to class twice in one week. I'm becoming super popular. ;) On the plus side, our apartment smelled like pumpkin and spices for a couple of days so that was fitting with the season as well.

It's been pretty rainy these days, and that just makes me want to lounge around and read. Lucky for me, I picked a major/career path that caters to just that. I just lay around and read poetry. And then I write stuff, which is actually a lot harder than it looks or seems. But it's pretty amazing actually, that I'm doing what I love, at least so far. And I have a cute umbrella/rain-boots that I never got to wear much or use up till this point, so I'm pretty stoked about that too.

I had an ear infection or something this past week also--which means I laid low this weekend. My head and ears felt a lot of pressure, so I had a constant head ache for a few days. I'm feeling better now. I think I'm just adjusting to the weather a bit. It was nice though just hanging out, and the weather was still damp and rainy, putting a damper on my wanting to go out (please pardon the pun). I felt very unmotivated last week, partly because I wasn't feeling so well, but I think I got that motivation back. And it didn't even take my usual two cups of liquid motivation. I'm growing. Isn't it grand?

I bought a peacoat today for winter! It's pretty adorable and it was on sale (thank you mom and Aunt Michelle for teaching me how to shop)! So, I should be all set for when it starts to get really cold. I'm kind of curious to see how cold it really is, or if I feel like I can handle it or not. I have been blessed with a pretty moderate body temperature thus far, I've handled the extreme heat, so we'll see if I can handle the extreme (or relatively extreme) cold also.

For those of you who might possibly be angry with me for not calling you yet...here's my excuse: my phone is a POS. I barely have service anywhere and when I can answer the phone, most of the time the person has trouble hearing me. My best friend has been Skype lately, because my internet connection is better than my phone service. So, if you'd like to chat--Skype is my best bet for now. I'm not sure if it's AT&T or if I need a new phone. I think its going on three years old...and that's a lot for an Iphone. Regardless, I'm going to try to go to AT&T this week and see if I'm due for an upgrade.

This has been a very boring and to the point post. Haha. But I hope you enjoyed it! I really need a catchy signing off slogan...like all the good newscasters have. I'll work on that. Until next time...

                                                                            ~~~

Dear Insomnia, I Thought We Were Through. Apparently Not...

So, I can't sleep.

This happens to me sometimes--I blame my father for this. It's one of the things I inherited from him, and like his mutant eyebrows, it's still annoying after all these years. But it does force me to update my blog, so I guess it's the universe's way of telling me I'm a little overdue on keeping you all up to speed on my life these days.

I guess I'll just give you the highlights.

• I went salsa dancing. A couple of friends from my classes decided it would be fun to go and even though it was pouring rain, we went. It took a couple of glasses of sangria before I actually braved the dance floor but it was actually surprisingly fun having random latin men attempt to teach me to dance. And they weren't creepy about it either, which was also surprising. They just genuinely wanted to dance. One of my dance partners got so excited that I started to get the hang of it, that he tried to dip me at the end. Good news, I did not fall or injure my partner in any way! I definitely need to wear better shoes next time...boots are not good for salsa. Who knew? Heels might actually be the better choice in this case--it would force me to be lighter on my feet. 
• I'm going to be a bridesmaid in my good friend Catherine's wedding in July and I'm really excited! She asked me this past week and of course I said yes! It's my first time being a bridesmaid in a wedding and it's actually for a friend I really do love/know really well so it should be fun helping make Catherine and Sean's day special! I kind of had an inkling that I was probably going to be a bridesmaid since Catherine has been sharing wedding plans with me and asking for advice since she and Sean got engaged. She also has been sending me pictures of potential dresses as well as bridesmaid dresses from across the country but she wanted to make it official so I make sure to be around for all the festivities. I was always going to the wedding but now I'll have to factor in the bachelorette party and maybe a rehearsal dinner and some dress fittings. The potential colors for bridesmaid dresses are as follows: coral, turquoise and charcoal. All of which, look fabulous on me. If one of the colors was yellow, then we'd have a problem. Yellow is not my color.
• I found my coffee shop. My new friend Eloisa is responsible for bringing the two of us together. It's called Espresso Royale Cafe on Newbury St and I am in love. The two of us (me and Eloisa) went there last Friday to write/work on homework and I just had this feeling. Plus the coffee was amazing. It's got good vibes for writing and studying and that's important. So if I'm not at home and not at school I'll probably be there sipping on a latte or a mocha. 
• And here's the sad news. Last week one of my good friends from college's father died in a motorcycle accident. I didn't sleep very well this past week, and maybe that's contributing to my insomnia now, but the news overall broke my heart a little. I was wrestling with the idea of how to handle the situation from my end and what I could possibly say in this situation and I just sat down and wrote this poem. I'm going to share it with you although it will probably significantly change after the people in my workshop are through with it...but I promised to share some of my writing on here so here you go. 

Elegy For a Man I Met Only Once

For Taylor

They were out of shooting stars so I made a wish on a blinking one for you

but I’m almost certain it won’t do.

I would fill a thousand light bulbs with fireflies

to bring some light to those stale eyes

to make up for the overused “I’m sorrys” the generic “I’ll pray for yous.”

Knowing all the while it won’t do.

It’s better I’m not there trapping tears in your beard—

trying to reach for the right words.

“I know how much you loved your dad.”

“Is there anything I can do?”

No words will do.

Remember the time we laid on the rocks by the lake

half-sober spelling our names with stars—

stars that never blinked,

they shone strong like the rocks beneath our spines

until the sun inevitably rose?

I know there’s nothing I can do.

I’m sorry.

I’ll pray for you.

That's all for now. Now I try to get some sleep.

                                                                      ~~~

New Friends Are Like New Ovens.

These days I've been facing the challenge of how to get to know people in a new city that has so many parts to it, and at a school where I'm taking fewer classes with an even smaller pool of students (who also are primarily female).

Boston is divided into sections and they are so different. There's Cambridge which houses Harvard and MIT with Harvard Square as a center of some of the hustle and bustle of the area. Then there is the Back Bay area which houses Emerson College (my little artsy school), the theatre district and parts of Suffolk College. Next is Brighton (which is where I technically live) where Boston College sits just across the reservoir. These are the only areas that I have had contact with or have explored so far and it's almost like they are these tiny towns with different personalities, that together create the city of Boston.

That being said, it's been a little daunting at times as I attempt to maneuver my way through this new city and familiarize myself with my surroundings; all the while trying to get to know places and people that are so diverse.

I've only met girls so far, considering there are three boys total in my two classes. There have been a few girls that I've exchanged numbers with and chatted with while waiting for the T. And I've been hanging out with my roommates a bunch, which is great because they are awesome. But it's been harder to branch out further so far.

However, I did meet a girl in one of my classes that has "friend potential" as my friend Catherine put it. Ironically enough, she's from Arizona also so we bonded over the whole "west-coast vs. east-coast" thing and she's a writer like me but she doesn't seem like a writer when you first meet her. She's not moody or pretentious, which is so refreshing because I'm met a lot of...'douche-y' writers in my day. In fact, sometimes even though I am a writer, I can't really be friends with other writers, not true friends anyways.

I keep coming back to how important patience is in times like these, times of transition and change, but that's probably because it's true. I baked cookies for the first time in my new oven and the first batch came out a little too brown for my taste, so I adjusted the temperature on the oven and put the second batch in. They came out perfect.

I think it's the same with new friends. Sometimes you don't click right away with everyone you do meet, but you keep trying and putting yourself out there until you meet those people where it just works. So here's it to putting yourself, or in this case myself, out there.

                                                                         ~~~

Don't Let the Bed Bugs Bite. Seriously.

I don't think I appreciated that phrase until now. Or realized how truly terrifying a thing this is to say to a young child.

We just moved into our apartment, and we have bed bugs. It first started with my one roommate, she woke up covered in mysterious bites and we searched the house for clues. I was the next victim, by then we had found two tiny bug corpses hidden in my roommate's curtains--so we dumped the curtains, washed everything we could and called the exterminator. We haven't even been in our apartment for an entire month and everything we brought into the apartment was brand new, so the landlord is footing the bill (thank goodness).

It's been a little bit stressful considering we are all in the middle of adjusting to moving, living with each other, new jobs and classes. It's also stressful for me because my roommates and their parents freaked out so much about the bed bug situation that I felt like I almost shouldn't react at all. I should be the calm one, the sane one. The one capable of getting down to business and making rational decisions. I also seemed to be the least girly about the whole situation, which was surprising considering they both assumed I was the girly one before they even met me based on some pictures they saw of me in a tiara on my Facebook. Btw, it was my birthday and we went to a concert, of course I wore a crown! But anyways, there has been a lot of shrieking and jumping at clumps of fuzz over the past few days.

The exterminators came today and I even went as far as to bribe them with cookies to do a super thorough job, they laughed but took the cookies. It's all turning out fine, just like I knew it would, but it was strange for me to see how other people to react to not-so-ideal situations.

Because I look at things this way: sometimes things happen that you can't control and all you can do is roll with it and wait for it to stop raining. You turn those brown bananas into banana bread and move on. It's pretty simple. And spazzing out and worrying yourself sick doesn't solve the problem or make things better.

All I know is that if there is a zombie apocalypse in the near future, and I'm around my roommates, I'm going to be the one saying "calm down guys, I'll just get a sawed-off shot gun and we'll be fine." Too much? But seriously...

Or maybe I'm just a little more 'west-coast' and laid-back than I thought.

                                                                        ~~~

I Don't Have a Witty Title. I'm Sorry. Actually, I'm Sorry I'm Not Sorry.

It's been a couple of days so I figured I should probably write again. And as I stated in my title, I don't really have anything witty to say. But I guess the point of this whole blog is not to just write when I have something to say, it's to write when I have nothing to say also.

But, it wouldn't be entirely correct for me to state that I have 'nothing' to say. Just nothing too important, meaningful or mind-blowing. And again, I should starting getting used to the idea that this is okay. I can't always be on 24/7 with witty, humorous and insightful things to say/write. There are going to be times where everything is just sort of, average.

So here is me writing to you--my lovely audience, all three of you, when I feel like I have nothing substantial to say:

I had my first classes last week and so far so good. There is a lot more reading than I remember from my under-grad, or maybe I'm just actually reading everything in its entirety as opposed to skimming everything like I often did before. Or maybe I just care more now...I'm not really sure. It's nothing too overwhelming though, because I have fewer classes so I can focus more. I prefer it actually, to taking a bunch of classes where my focus has to be readjusted more often and not necessarily towards things that are of interest to me.

I started unpacking my boxes that arrived last week and now I just need to buy some actual furniture. Specifically a dresser or some shelves, to store everything. My closet here isn't as big as the ones before, so I'm going to have to adjust my organizational system a bit. I suppose that's the mode I'm in right now--adjustment mode. Trying to get my bearings, get organized and overall get settled in.

I've come to terms with the fact that it may, and probably will, take me a while to feel settled. That's one of the things I learned last year when I moved to Boulder from Durango--how to adjust. Although, the change in scenery, people and overall life-style is far more drastic of a change this time. For instance, now I'm learning what life is like without the convenience of a car, and it will probably lead me to be more organized and efficient with my time. Or at least that's what I'm hoping for.

It's funny, one of my roommates keeps asking me how I'm not "freaking out" and I keep telling her that we've only been here two weeks. She just graduated from college though and she isn't quite used to this whole life-after-life-as-an-under-grad thing. It's sort of strange seeing her as people saw me last year when I was in her position. I have a year of experience in the real world (that definitely sucks at times) but that was what prompted me to go to grad school in the first place. I didn't go on a whim. I thought seriously about it and for me it just makes sense. And now I have a whole new approach of school and real-life than I had before. I'm trying to make the two mesh and to do that it requires a kind of balance.

Let's hope that my physical clumsiness won't get in the way. But I'll admit it--it's not an interesting day unless I do at least five awkward things.

                                                                              ~~~

Anonymous.

In the past I've always found comfort in being known or knowing the people I'm surrounded by.

My college was a small school in an even smaller town and by the time I graduated I couldn't even walk down the street without running into at least four people I knew by name. At first, when I would come back each year I found it, like I said before, to be kind of comforting. I enjoyed being a part of the "bubble."

Then I just felt a little suffocated by it. I couldn't buy orange juice without running into someone I knew, and usually it was just the person or the people I didn't want to run into. Inevitably I'd be wearing yoga pants, a hoodie, my old glasses (that are not quite as hip as my new ones), and my hair would be disheveled. Cute right? Not so much.

By the time I graduated from college I was starting to feel trapped by this tiny town that I had come to know as my home, and I felt like I had to move away before I ended up resenting it forever. So, I wrote it a little mental letter in my head:

Dear Durango, 

The past four years have been fun. We've laughed. I've cried. I grew up here, like really grew up. But now it's time for us, for me, to move on. I promise to write or to visit. You'll always have a little place in my heart and you'll always be my little home in the mountains. 

Love, 

Me

And I moved away. But I still had my little support system of friends and family pretty close by.

I don't have that now. At least not a car ride away. And at first that scared me a bit, but now I feel kind of freed by it. I walk down the street now, and people see a girl who looks like she's in college. They don't know my name, they don't know where I'm from, they don't know who I have or haven't dated, anything about me really except for what they see. And I like that. No labels, only brief assumptions.

My sister and I were taking a walk a couple of days before I left town and we were talking about how hard it can be to escape from our pasts sometimes. Or how hard it is to change the image that some people have of us. Someone could meet you in a weird stage of your life and think that you are a particular way, when really you are a whole other person. Or that stage was just a piece of the greater whole, not the whole itself. It's like wearing a "hello my name is" sticker that you didn't realize you were wearing and when you try to take it off, people still call you by that fake name.

But that got me thinking that in a way this anonymity has become a source of reinvention. I can try to become the best possible version of me that I can be and if I stumble, no one here will know the difference. I know this may sound strange and in fact, it probably doesn't make complete sense. But it doesn't have to make sense to everyone it just has to make sense to me.

So here's my little semi-conclusion: As I walk down the street surrounded by unfamiliar faces and backs of heads that I don't recognize I've discovered what it's like to be anonymous. Now, I see the beauty in anonymity and the beauty in reinvention that I never quite saw before.

                                                                           ~~~

Pick-Up Lines & Public Transportation

I've been riding the T a lot lately. (And for you out-of-towners the "T" is the Massachusetts Bay Transportation Association's subway system, or the T for short.)

And to be honest, I kind of like it. I know that there is a chance in the future that I will take back that statement or even claim that I never made such a statement, like if a train is delayed and I'm late to work or class, but for the present I'm enjoying it. Although, I have to admit that I have yet to master and perfect my disinterested stare. My eyes still retain their curious sparkle and I'm almost certain I smile too much.

This is probably why I've had a couple of strange encounters on the T.

Like the boy that admired my owl ring, asked to try it on and then proceeded to ask me my sign all before the train left the station. I was almost sure he was going to sprint off the train at the next stop with my ring still on. Not that this was an expensive ring, but I just got it and it's pretty cool. He didn't take off though. He just sat next to me and talked my ear off about how he is a piano player from Temple University and kept trying to guess my astrological sign. Side-note: he wasn't even close.

My new roommate just sat next to me and we both tried not to laugh or make eye contact during the entire encounter. Thankfully, he stopped talking eventually and soon enough we were at our stop and on our merry way. It wasn't until after that I realized the whole astrological thing was probably his way of hitting on me, not that it was a very original pick-up line. In fact, it's probably the most cliched line in the book. But I decided the reason he talked to me in the first place was because I looked approachable. Maybe, too approachable.

Which brings me to my next encounter, which happened before I boarded the actual T. I was on my way to the platform to wait for the next train with my other roommate and some guys that looked like they were taking some sort of survey or were going to ask me to 'save the whales' yelled to us as we were crossing the street: "Are you ladies friendly?" I yelled back "Sometimes!" Then I just kept walking.

The point of that second story is to show that I'm learning. Because Toto, we definitely are not in Colorado/Arizona anymore. I think it's because we all get so much sun, we're just naturally more sunny people. The vitamin D just glows out of our pores.

I'm not saying that I plan on being grumpy for the next three years because I can't just change my personality, I'm a generally friendly person, but I will try to tone down the friendly a bit. Try to make myself a little less approachable. Maybe I'll start wearing headphones all the time even if I don't feel like listening to music...but those things sometimes hurt my ears so maybe not. I'm sure I'll figure out something along the way.

One thing's for sure. Riding the T will definitely give this writer tons of writing material whether I am looking for it or not.

                                                                          ~~~

O.M.G. My Life is a 90’s Dram-Com TV Series. Sort of.

I’m having a Felicity moment.

Right now I’m sitting in my mostly-empty room with the hustle and bustle of moving day going on outside my window and I’m feeling very Felicity-like. I’m not sure if you are familiar with the show, in fact I’m pretty sure the only people who will truly appreciate this comparison are my friends Meghan and Sabrina, but bear with me.

Felicity was a TV series in the 90’s that was centered around a girl who moved from California all the way to New York City for college. Substitute Arizona/Colorado for California and Boston for New York City and college for grad school and it’s basically my life right now. There are some other differences I guess.

 I don’t have the crazy curly hair that at the end of the first season I will cut off to prove a point to some guy. My hair is more wavy than curly. And I also didn’t claim to relocate all the way across the country in the first place for said guy. There is no guy. My parents are also ridiculously supportive, unlike Felicity’s parents. Okay, so maybe it’s not exactly the same. But that’s what I was reminded of when I was sitting in my room.

In the first episode of the series Felicity explains how she came to the decision to move to New York and essentially it all boiled down to feeling like her entire life had already been planned for her. She knew exactly where she would be four years from her high school graduation, on her way to med school just like her father. Now, as I said before I am blessed with ridiculously supportive parents who never ever forced their idea of how my life should be upon me, and for that I am eternally grateful. But I am embracing this idea of the fact that my life from here on out is entirely up to me in some sense and it’s very unscripted.

I read somewhere once that it’s “up to you to live the life you’ve always wanted” and that idea has recently been popping back up in my mind.  

And although my room is empty, right now I feel filled with possibility. 

                                                                     ~~~

In case of emergency, put your head between your knees and kiss your bum good bye!

Sometimes I really hate airports. Like now for example, when I have no internet connection, and I have the sneaking suspicion that the guy two seats down from me is sucking away my signal with his Ipad. But it’s not this guy’s fault that the Internet gods are blessing him with a strong connection while I’m writing this post offline in the hopes that I can copy and paste it later.

I’m just a little stressed out that’s all and I’m misplacing this frustration at him, although he doesn’t know it. I’m stressed because I’m moving across the country for the first time and even though deep down I’m really excited, all I can focus on now are logistical things and irrational fears. Like making sure my boxes arrive at the right address or what time my bed is being delivered and making sure all my forms are filled out for school. School.

That, in fact, is the reason why I’m moving across the country in the first place. I am about to start my first year of graduate school. And like I said before, I really am excited.

I’ve just been swatting at the irrational fears that keep floating around my head like gnats for the past 24 hours…Fears like ‘no one will miss me when I’m gone’, ‘I won’t be able to hack-it in grad school’, ‘the east coast is too different for a west coast girl like me’, etc.

I know these fears are natural albeit irrational but that doesn’t stop them from creeping into the back of my mind to sit next to my other irrational fears of airplane bathrooms and clowns. So I guess for now I’ll have to deal with these irrational fears the way I deal with the other ones; avoid them or if I see one, kick it in the shins and run away.

In all seriousness, I know I’m just making a big life change and that this is all part of the transition process but it doesn’t mean I didn’t almost cry when I gave my parents a hug when they dropped me off curbside. Because contrary to the popular belief that kids who move across the country are the ones that can’t stand their family, I really do adore mine in all of their bizarre quirkiness.

So here’s what I’ve resolved to do: I’m going to allow myself to freak out for a while and be nervous about whether or not things are going to work themselves out but I’m going to try to limit my spazzy period the best I can and enjoy myself when the panic fades. And the panic will fade soon, slowly but surely. And when that happens I’ll readjust my focus on all the new opportunities ahead instead of all the things I’ll be missing/missing out on.

Like how much I can’t wait to see New England in the fall. Fall has always been my favorite season, and I’ve heard tell that nobody does ‘fall’ quite like New England does. And I aim to find out if it’s true.

                                                                                           ~~~