Dear Insomnia, I Thought We Were Through. Apparently Not...

So, I can't sleep.

This happens to me sometimes--I blame my father for this. It's one of the things I inherited from him, and like his mutant eyebrows, it's still annoying after all these years. But it does force me to update my blog, so I guess it's the universe's way of telling me I'm a little overdue on keeping you all up to speed on my life these days.

I guess I'll just give you the highlights.

• I went salsa dancing. A couple of friends from my classes decided it would be fun to go and even though it was pouring rain, we went. It took a couple of glasses of sangria before I actually braved the dance floor but it was actually surprisingly fun having random latin men attempt to teach me to dance. And they weren't creepy about it either, which was also surprising. They just genuinely wanted to dance. One of my dance partners got so excited that I started to get the hang of it, that he tried to dip me at the end. Good news, I did not fall or injure my partner in any way! I definitely need to wear better shoes next time...boots are not good for salsa. Who knew? Heels might actually be the better choice in this case--it would force me to be lighter on my feet. 
• I'm going to be a bridesmaid in my good friend Catherine's wedding in July and I'm really excited! She asked me this past week and of course I said yes! It's my first time being a bridesmaid in a wedding and it's actually for a friend I really do love/know really well so it should be fun helping make Catherine and Sean's day special! I kind of had an inkling that I was probably going to be a bridesmaid since Catherine has been sharing wedding plans with me and asking for advice since she and Sean got engaged. She also has been sending me pictures of potential dresses as well as bridesmaid dresses from across the country but she wanted to make it official so I make sure to be around for all the festivities. I was always going to the wedding but now I'll have to factor in the bachelorette party and maybe a rehearsal dinner and some dress fittings. The potential colors for bridesmaid dresses are as follows: coral, turquoise and charcoal. All of which, look fabulous on me. If one of the colors was yellow, then we'd have a problem. Yellow is not my color.
• I found my coffee shop. My new friend Eloisa is responsible for bringing the two of us together. It's called Espresso Royale Cafe on Newbury St and I am in love. The two of us (me and Eloisa) went there last Friday to write/work on homework and I just had this feeling. Plus the coffee was amazing. It's got good vibes for writing and studying and that's important. So if I'm not at home and not at school I'll probably be there sipping on a latte or a mocha. 
• And here's the sad news. Last week one of my good friends from college's father died in a motorcycle accident. I didn't sleep very well this past week, and maybe that's contributing to my insomnia now, but the news overall broke my heart a little. I was wrestling with the idea of how to handle the situation from my end and what I could possibly say in this situation and I just sat down and wrote this poem. I'm going to share it with you although it will probably significantly change after the people in my workshop are through with it...but I promised to share some of my writing on here so here you go. 

Elegy For a Man I Met Only Once

For Taylor

They were out of shooting stars so I made a wish on a blinking one for you

but I’m almost certain it won’t do.

I would fill a thousand light bulbs with fireflies

to bring some light to those stale eyes

to make up for the overused “I’m sorrys” the generic “I’ll pray for yous.”

Knowing all the while it won’t do.

It’s better I’m not there trapping tears in your beard—

trying to reach for the right words.

“I know how much you loved your dad.”

“Is there anything I can do?”

No words will do.

Remember the time we laid on the rocks by the lake

half-sober spelling our names with stars—

stars that never blinked,

they shone strong like the rocks beneath our spines

until the sun inevitably rose?

I know there’s nothing I can do.

I’m sorry.

I’ll pray for you.

That's all for now. Now I try to get some sleep.

                                                                      ~~~