Why I'm Destined to Not Work in a Restaurant.

Last night after work I went out with some work people. I wouldn't exactly call them friends because I've never really hung out with them outside of work. And last night gave me a little insight as to why I probably have never hung out with them before.

It was this girl Lauren's last day of work. She and I both got done around the same time so I sat at the bar and had a drink with her. Then we tried the cake that everyone got her for her last day.

Lauren is a nice girl. But she's the type of girl that is used to getting what she wants because she's a skinny/pretty girl with long blonde hair and blue eyes. If anyone reading this knows who Lauren Conrad is, she's a celebrity who got famous from being on a reality TV show, she is basically how this girl Lauren looks. And their names are both Lauren which is kind of funny also.

But anywho, a couple of guys from work (including two of my managers) joined us. We were all sitting around talking and basically the conversation steered around to everyone's views on relationships and how most of the people I was sitting with were in relationships out of convenience. Convenience, security, and essentially the lack of nerve to break up with the actual person. The guys were all giving Lauren a hard time about her boyfriend, probably because they all want to date her. Or at least sleep with her.

I'm not sure if it was because I was tired or what, but I found myself extremely bored by the conversation. At first I thought it was because I didn't know all their inside jokes, or the backstories to a lot of the people they were referencing. I made an excuse to leave and got on the T feeling a little out of sorts.

I thought maybe I was just being a stupid girl and I was jealous of the boys fawning all over Lauren, not that I would even want those particular guys to show any interest in me in the first place. But then this morning it hit me like a snowball in the chest that slowly melted down my shirt (sidenote: that happened to me once walking to class in CO but that's a different story).

There's this famous Eleanor Roosevelt quote that I think perfectly encompasses my feelings after hanging out with these people from work.

"Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people." 

I just can't seem to be content with endlessly discussing other people. I think there are more important things out there. And it really disheartens me that there are people out there that don't have goals, interests and hopes outside of going out and drinking till they can't remember. I'm all for having a good time, don't get me wrong. I love to go out and dance with my girlfriends, in fact I did on Friday night and had a really good time. 

But that's not enough for me. 

Maybe it's a good thing that I worked in a restaurant during my year off from school. And maybe it's a good thing that I am working at a restaurant part-time right now, because it's a constant reminder of what I don't want my life to be. And any time I'm having doubts, which I have from time-to-time and I have had recently, at least I can rest assured that I gave it a shot. 

Even if things don't work out in Boston and I never become a well-respected, published author, at least I dared to believe my life could be something more. More than working just enough to make ends meet and have a few drinks or living for the weekend. 

With that being said, I start my second semester this Thursday. We'll see what happens next...

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I Promised My Grandpa I'd Update My Blog More.

While I was home over Christmas break I was scolded by my grandpa for not updating my blog enough. So grandpa, this one's for you.

Not much has changed since I last wrote.  I went home for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I had a birthday. I'm 24 now. Although, I don't really feel like it. When I say it out loud, I don't quite believe myself.

My birthday was fun thanks to my roommates who tried their hardest to make me feel special, and they did. But I'm not really a big fan of my birthday. The selfish part of me has always hated that I have to share my birthday with a holiday. So in general, it was average. Another night out at a bar with far too many drunk people spilling drinks all over me. Except this time I was part of the crowd not the one working, so that was nice for a change.

It was overall an average night, and from past experience the more average the New Years Eve/my birthday the better the year. So I'm crossing my fingers for a good year to come. My horoscope said to expect big changes, but then again, I never really believed in that astrological stuff anyways.

I got through my first semester of grad school and came out with an A- in my poetry workshop so that's pretty cool. But a part of my is afraid I'm running out of things to write about. I've been tossing around the idea of traveling a lot lately. We'll see if anything actually comes of that though.

I came back earlier than I needed to so that I could work and that's all I've really been doing since I got back. I'm trying to work while I can so when school starts up again I can focus. They've cut down my hours a bit so that's nice. I've been trying to find a balance and I think I may have found it. I  made the most I have ever made in one shift about a week ago. The thing about the service industry is that you could make a bunch of money one day and then the next you could make no money. I kind of hate the instability of it and it further proves that one of the reasons I'm in grad school is to ensure that I don't have to wait tables for the rest of my life.

My new years resolution was to eat breakfast. I know that seems a little silly but ever since I started living on my own (so since the beginning of college), in the morning I would just grab a cup of coffee and call it good. I've never been a big morning person (which is kind of ironic because I am typing this blog and it's not even 7am yet), so I've never been a big breakfast person. I don't like waffles or french toast. Sometimes I like pancakes but ever since I stopped eating gluten I haven't made them because I feel like they won't be the same as they used to be. But I decided that I was going to make a New Year's resolution that I might actually be able to keep. And so far, so good.

Just now I decided on another resolution. I am going to not only try to eat breakfast every morning, but I am going to try to write a new blog, even if I'm just talking about how my seemingly mundane new year's resolution is to eat breakfast.

So until next time. I'm going to go eat breakfast now.

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