Everyone I Know is Getting Married and I'm Just Getting Drunk.

Just kidding. I'm going to grad school, I'm not just getting drunk.

Although, sometimes I feel that alcohol does provide a particular sort of social lubrication that enhances the experiences I add to my writing material drawer at the end of every weekend. But seriously...

Back to the whole marriage thing though...I met up with one of my long-but-not-quite-lost friends from high school, who just so happens to live in Boston. We went and got brunch at a super hip place, ordering cappuccinos and fancy eggs benedict (I didn't think you could get any fancier than that).  It was so nice to see her again, and it felt like it was just the other day that I saw her so we had a really good time reconnecting.

And after we caught up on that status of each other's lives we soon we fell on the topic of who was getting married from high school, who was already married, and who was married with kids (eeek!). Me and Britt (my friend from high school) agreed that we are all for settling down and starting a family...eventually.

The key word in that sentence is "eventually." I'm 23-years-old and truly, just starting out my life. There are so many places, things, and people I want to meet or see before I permanently settle myself down somewhere or tie myself to another person forever. And I know that this is truly just a personality trait, some people are content with certain things, other people are not and strive for different things or experiences. But for me, the day I stop "wanting" is the day I know I'm in trouble. So I guess the point of this marriage convo or the question that I would like answered is--what's the rush?

Now, please don't misunderstand what I'm saying when I ask "what's the rush?" Because I get that some people are lucky enough to find "their lobster" at a younger age, and bless you for being so lucky. But the rest of us haven't been so lucky, or we haven't been lucky yet, and I'm just enough of a hopeless romantic and a realist to think that everything happens for a reason, or in its own time. Not everyone's timeline is identical. Our little life milestones don't happen in the same order, and please don't feel bad for me because of that.

I refer to my one roommate a lot, and that's probably because we really are so different when it comes down to personalities. And I really do love her for who she is, much like I would a sister or cousin who I sometimes clash with. However, she's constantly showing me things about myself that I had never really had to put into words for someone before.

Like the other day we were talking about marriage or getting married, for some reason that I can't seem to remember now, when she asked me "do you want to get married?" To which I answered, "well yes, but only to the right person." And she proceeded to ask me "well what if you don't meet him till you're like 30?" To which I repled, "then I won't get married until I'm 30..." This went on for a while with different variations of the same questions...until we came to the big question.

"Well, what if you don't meet him at all?"
"Well, then I guess I won't get married."
"So, you'd just be alone?"
"I guess so."
"Don't you find that kind of depressing?"

But here's the thing, I was blessed with an amazing family and amazing friends so I have never ever truly experienced what it feels like not to be "loved." Sure, I may have had my bouts with "under-appreciated," "misunderstood," and "overlooked," but never "not loved." So, I'm not going to go out there and settle down with someone who is not quite up to par just because I'd rather have a second choice than be alone. I would never want to be someone's second choice, or the person they settled for, so I could never do that to someone else.

Call it me being stubborn, or naive, or blame it all on my constant battle with my pride but there are some things that I believe in like "don't force it, especially if it isn't right" and I'm not going to change that because I don't want to. I believe the Supremes when they say "you can't hurry love, no you'll just have to wait."

And I know that the best things in life, are worth the wait. Or at least that's what I've come to believe so far.

Sorry about my little rant. I just don't want people to think that because I'm willing to wait for someone special, that I am closing myself off to the idea of marriage. It's just one area of my life where I'm going to stick to my guns, if you know what I means.

And that is how the cookie crumbles.

I'm going to test out sign offs from now on. Or steal other people's.

                                                                        ~~~