What Do You Want to Be in Five Years? Happy. So Poor?

I went to my great-grandmother's ninetieth birthday party last weekend.

The whole family (minus my little munchkin sister who is studying abroad in Florence, poor thing) flew back to Muncie, Indiana for the celebration. We also had family coming from Tennessee, as well as the family that still lives in Muncie or near there, that joined the festivities.

When I asked my great-grandma if she was excited for the party she gave me a typical mid-western "no." But when all the people started to show up, hugs were exchanged and the party got underway I could tell she was really happy. Then the grandchild-bragging started, by her and my other grandma (her daughter). My grandma only tried to marry me off to one person's grandson. I was heading to the bathroom and got snared for a hug and a "Hello, I'm one of the great-granddaughters." I made sure to check if this young man was related to me (he wasn't thank god) but there was no current photo and we weren't sure what his FEP (future earning potential) was--so no deal.

I was so glad to be a part of celebrating my amazing great-grandmother who, when she was younger, bares a striking resemblance to Natalie Wood (in my opinion) and without whom, I literally would not exist. My little sister designed a poster with all of these old pictures on it and me and my mom made center pieces that looked like they came straight off the web-site Pinterest. All in all the party was a huge success and so many people showed up to visit and wish my great-grandma a 'happy birthday.'

There were so many good quotes from throughout the party/weekend that would make really spectacular blog titles of their own and I'll share some of those gems with you, but I picked my favorite for the title of this current post.

A few of my other favorites were "Wow, you have beautiful blue eyes. With those eyes you'll never have trouble finding a man." I don't think my eyes are the problem--it's probably the combination of my low expectations and high standards. But like I said, that's another topic entirely.

And coming in a solid third place was a short exchange I had with one of my great-grandmother's friends about my dad. This is a paraphrased version of that conversation:

"Your dad looks like this attractive actor. I can't for the life of me remember his name..."

"Is it Robert Downey Jr.?"

 "Yes, that's the one!"

See, really good topics to explore! But I'll have to save those jewels for another day.

In typical party-settings you tend to have the same conversation, or many versions of the same conversation, over and over again. This party was no different. I had several variations of the "Oh, you're in graduate school? Where? Which school? What for? What do you plan to do after? Creative Writing--what do you plan to do with that? Etc,." My grandma and great-grandma took turns flagging me down from across the room to chat with an assortment of old friends and relatives.

Now, I really hate when I feel like I'm not being entirely honest.

But I also hate when I feel like the answer I plan to give someone is not exactly what they are expecting or looking for. It is a result of the people-pleaser in me that still shows her face from time to time and it's not something I've learned to completely shut off yet. Although I'm not entirely sure whether or not small doses of people pleasing is a bad or a good thing.

That being said when asked serious questions that I'm not sure the answer to, or if I'm not sure the other person will appreciate my honest answer, I've learned to deflect the question with humor or to give an almost-true response. When I decided to go to grad school a couple of years ago and I was in the middle of the application process, I generated a response that seems to shut most people up when they talk about how useless my choice of major is. I just tell them "I'm considering teaching. Or perhaps publishing." Which is not entirely a lie, both of those pathways or potential careers interest me but my honest-to-goodness answer is "I have no clue what I'm going to do after graduate school--I'm just going to see what happens in the meantime and wing it."

Now, I am a pretty practical person despite my tendencies to daydream and exaggerate. I chose to study English and Creative Writing, knowing full well that I would never be a Rockefeller or someone of that income-pool. I am fully prepared to struggle as a writer or teacher or editor if that's what ends up happening. And I understand there is a certain amount of preparation that is required to live the life that you want. But that's just the point I'm trying to make; I'm going to live the life that I want. And I would like the non-daydreamers and people like the ones who inspired the title of this blog to realize that it's okay to not know all the steps I plan to take along the way. As long as I get there in one piece.

And if in five years I am, in fact, happy--then I guess I won't be that poor after all. Will I?

                                                                             ~~~